a colapse of the heart and mind

I stood up for myself yesterday and it felt EMPOWERING!

Back two steps: For awhile now my fiance has taken to calling me names. Now, I know a lot of it is in a joking manner and he does not mean anything by it, but after so long it wears on a girl. So whenever I would bring up to him that I don't like him calling me by these names he would not take me seriously. I finally realized that this is verbal abuse. I know he loves me more than anything but to call the woman you are about to marry names like ho, cooze, idiot, etc. is not appropriate.

So Tuesday night was really bad, he was mad at me for setting up my new cell phone. long story, I was just trying to help. He made it seem like I was incapable of doing that and I was an idiot. This was the first night in our 6 year relationship that I have gone to bed angry and did not say good night!

Wednesday morning there was no communication between us. As soon as I got to school I got online and figured out a way to combat this before it gets out of hand and before the "i do's." I wrote him and email that said I am DONE with the name calling. I am a smart, talented and educated woman and did not deserve to be called names. I am his princess, love, companion and future wife and should be talked to as such. I said if he calls me by names I will ignore him and walk out of the room until he is ready to talk to me like an adult and treat me with respect. I got a good response back and we talked about it last night so the beast has been tamed.

I know you are probably thinking, why are you still with him?? Well, this has just started as of late. I am not sure if it is because he is nervous because of the upcoming wedding or if his friends are giving him shit for us getting married and him being tied down? We are going to work through this together and move on. :)

Thus gives me reason number five for staying on my anxiety medicine.

Carissa